Finally finished inking & photoshopping all the book illustrations. I am crossing my fingers that there will be minimal changes and no color needed after final aproval. It’s not my style, not my thing..but it’s work! So that’s good. What I really want to do though is get started on my Sedna.
These goddesses have officially been kicking my butt. It’s really important to me that when I paint them, I somehow infuse something extra into it. I want them to be magical. In order to do that, I really have to live it.
Four more boards primed means four more goddesses to paint. Sedna is definitely next. Then maybe Pele… I’m excited!
This project that I’m working on has been a dream of mine for many years. It means a great deal to me to be able to convey these goddesses in a way that makes them real and accessible. In the times that we are living, knowing that magic is possible can be a comfort. Knowing that miracles can happen and the Divine not only lives among us, but within us can sometimes give us that extra boost we need to carry on when things seem hopeless.
I truly hope that these paintings can trigger something in us, can allow us to remember that there is more than what we know, a wisdom that we can reach. I hope that they can bring balance or maybe fill an empty place in us by realizing that we too carry magic and divinity. I hope that we can remember that we are connected by a history and stories that are so ancient they have long been forgotten, but in their remembering we can come together and effect changes and prosper.
Kwan Yin
Lots of stuff happened when I worked with the Acheulian Goddess. As I mentioned, I researched the hell out of her, but when it came time to bring her to life, I realized I had to abandon all that I thought I knew. The same goes for my life. Everything I thought I knew has just gone out the door. We’re starting at the beginning. And it’s been tough, still is. With the Achulean Goddess demanding that I let everything go, even though I don’t know yet how it all comes back together I decided to ask for a little (well, alot) of mercy. Which brought me to Kwan Yin.
Kwan Yin has a couple of stories and many different spellings of her name. She is a bodhisattva who hears the cries of the world. Hopefully she has heard mine. We’ll see!
As I was painting her I was thinking about the culture from which she originates. There is wealth associated with Chinese deities; wealth, luck good fortune. And although Her key words may be compassion and mercy, I was focusing on abundance.
Kwan Yin is teaching me that abundance is effortless. That there is a flow and it comes from a never ending source (her pouring water). She doesn’t practice compassion, She is compassion. She doesn’t show mercy, She is mercy. Just as She doesn’t have abundance, She is abundance. And that is what I need to be. Read the rest of this entry
Whenever I work on a new goddess, I live their energy and explore that archetype. Whether I want to or not. Erzulie was rough. And now Isis, She’s a pretty tough chick.
After seeing modern and historical depictions of her I thought of her as this queen, poised and elegant. When I dreamt of her She scared the crap out of me. She was real. She was down and dirty. She was assembling body parts and looking at me in a way that told me I had better watch and learn, that I needed to do this too.
Pulling all the pieces together, reassembling them animating them, breathing into them new life. In the same way She brought life to her husband. When I first dreamt of her, I thought I understood what she was saying. Now as I paint her, I am learning all over again.
A couple of weeks ago I woke to intense neck and shoulder pain. What I later believed to be a whole lot of “stuckness” in my life that manifested physically in order to better get my attention. It got my attention. Read the rest of this entry
My Erzulie is changing quite a bit. She’s a strong one. I’m finding it difficult to be in her energy. There is a sadness. There is a strong maternalistic side existing with an amazing independence. A fierceness and determination cuts through the sadness and creates propulsion.
I think of her single-minded purpose to free and to feed her people. Her drive to do what is right regardless of outcome.One of the outcomes being that her people turn against her, mistrust her and cut out her tongue. She has a great power that must have made others very wary. It was ok as long as it worked in their favor but what if it was turned against them? What would happen to them if they were discovered to be not as true or as honest as She? Her strength and courage must have made them feel inferior.
Regardless of their fears and insecurities, regardless of their choices, She did what she knew she must. As a mother would do for her children.
But the sadness of knowing you are doing everything you can, doing everything right and somehow it still isn’t enough can be thick and weighty. I am in that heaviness as I work on her portrait.
In my painting She will no longer be turned away from the viewer, but facing forward, facing fears, tired and determined. The baby too, will be seen. It’s important to see the children, to see for whom it is we fight. The background has gone from pastoral to a ruined city. The lighting has changed too.
There is a revolution coming and some say She started it. I say She will finish it.
I’m thinking about all those who have supported me and my art. I am amazed sometimes.
I have new boards because a friend of mine wanted to see more goddesses. She sees their value and importance. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that it’s not just me!
When Erzulie was on display there were people who literally fell down in front of her and cried. She was real for them. Like She’s real for me. And that keeps me going.
I recently had a family member ask if I was ever going to “get a job”. I didn’t understand, because I have a job. More than that, I have a purpose.
I’m an artist. I don’t do this as a hobby. I do this because I have to. As any artist will tell you, if we don’t create, we die.
It isn’t about recognition. Lord knows it isn’t about the money! It’s about creation. And the ability to perceive things others cannot. This ability has helped me to survive.
My next Goddess will be Sedna. She is an Inuit Goddess who created the seals, the whales…She did not do this willingly. She was pushed into her fate. Literally, pushed off the boat!
What she chose in that moment was not to be a victim but rather to make life from what was certain death.
Sometimes we have to be pushed to our absolute limit before we find the strength to act. But when we do act, it becomes about choices..even when we think there are none.
It will be interesting to see what happens when the color hits the brush. Then her story starts, all over again, for me.