May1

Working with the goddess

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Working with the goddess

Whenever I work on a new goddess, I live their energy and explore that archetype. Whether I want to or not. Erzulie was rough. And now Isis, She’s a pretty tough chick.

After seeing modern and historical depictions of her I thought of her as this queen, poised and elegant. When I dreamt of her She scared the crap out of me. She was real. She was down and dirty. She was assembling body parts and looking at me in a way that told me I had better watch and learn, that I needed to do this too.

Pulling all the pieces together, reassembling them animating them, breathing into them new life. In the same way She brought life to her husband. When I first dreamt of her, I thought I understood what she was saying. Now as I paint her, I am learning all over again.

A couple of weeks ago I woke to intense neck and shoulder pain. What I later believed to be a whole lot of “stuckness” in my life that manifested physically in order to better get my attention. It got my attention. Read the rest of this entry →

Apr30

Erzulie

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Erzulie

My Erzulie is changing quite a bit. She’s a strong one. I’m finding it difficult to be in her energy. There is a sadness. There is a strong maternalistic side existing with an amazing independence. A fierceness and determination cuts through the sadness and creates propulsion.

I think of her single-minded purpose to free and to feed her people. Her drive to do what is right regardless of outcome.One of the outcomes being that her people turn against her, mistrust her and cut out her tongue. She has a great power that must have made others very wary. It was ok as long as it worked in their favor but what if it was turned against them? What would happen to them if they were discovered to be not as true or as honest as She? Her strength and courage must have made them feel inferior.

Regardless of their fears and insecurities, regardless of their choices, She did what she knew she must. As a mother would do for her children.

But the sadness of knowing you are doing everything you can, doing everything right and somehow it still isn’t enough can be thick and weighty. I am in that heaviness as I work on her portrait.

In my painting She will no longer be turned away from the viewer, but facing forward, facing fears, tired and determined. The baby too, will be seen. It’s important to see the children, to see for whom it is we fight. The background has gone from pastoral to a ruined city. The lighting has changed too.

There is a revolution coming and some say She started it. I say She will finish it.

Apr28

Goddess Erzulie Dantor

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Goddess Erzulie Dantor



Goddess Erzulie Dantor, a Haitian Lwa. This shows the progression of my concept sketch, my working sketch then finished painting. My Goddesses always seem to change as do I. When I begin to paint them, I begin to live their story and often they want to be depicted differently then how I first imagined them. Who am I to question? :)

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Apr27

Get a job

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Get a job

I’m thinking about all those who have supported me and my art. I am amazed sometimes.

I have new boards because a friend of mine wanted to see more goddesses. She sees their value and importance. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that it’s not just me!

When Erzulie was on display there were people who literally fell down in front of her and cried. She was real for them. Like She’s real for me. And that keeps me going.

I recently had a family member ask if I was ever going to “get a job”. I didn’t understand, because I have a job. More than that, I have a purpose.

I’m an artist. I don’t do this as a hobby. I do this because I have to. As any artist will tell you, if we don’t create, we die.

It isn’t about recognition. Lord knows it isn’t about the money! It’s about creation. And the ability to perceive things others cannot. This ability has helped me to survive.

My next Goddess will be Sedna. She is an Inuit Goddess who created the seals, the whales…She did not do this willingly. She was pushed into her fate. Literally, pushed off the boat!

What she chose in that moment was not to be a victim but rather to make life from what was certain death.

Sometimes we have to be pushed to our absolute limit before we find the strength to act. But when we do act, it becomes about choices..even when we think there are none.

It will be interesting to see what happens when the color hits the brush. Then her story starts, all over again, for me.