There’s nothing like the feeling of putting your last $20 into your gas tank and just driving. I love road trips. We spent a good 8 hours driving up north today. There were heavy clouds in the morning with the sun breaking through in the afternoon. It felt amazingly good to get away. Much needed.
Over the weekend my husband and I decided to tie the knot, well not exactly. We did have a wedding, but we were married almost 8 years ago now. When we first got together, we just signed the paperwork to make it official. We decided that now, after two more of our children had been born and we had accomplished so much, it was time to celebrate and to say thank you to all those who have supported us through the years. It was a magical day.
I got back this Monday after spending the weekend camping at a festival. We had a tiring but wonderful time, then reality hit hard on the return trip and it hasn’t stopped! I had a surprise with my bank account after noticing that a bill paid went through twice. That may be great for the cable company, but not so hot for my personal monies. I’ve been, I think understandably, upset by this and after hours on the phone have not yet been able to have it corrected. So I was surprised at pulling the Four of Cups. I’m certainly not bored, something that this card can represent. In fact it’s the opposite, I have way too much going on. I’d love to be bored for awhile! It can also mean taking things for granted. Well I don’t do that…do I? I had taken for granted that the fix for this financial issue would be easier. Boy was I wrong there. But I thought more about it and about life. Sometimes when things aren’t quite the way we wish for them to be we forget to see what it is we already do have. I could complain forever about the repairs needed in my home, but the fact is, I have a place to live. I have a roof over my head. Many people do not. I could complain about not having time to myself but the reason I do not have time is because I have a rich life, full of children and art. I could complain that my partner didn’t do this or that fast enough to my liking but the fact is I have a partner that will do anything for me. I see where I am taking for granted the things I do have and focusing on what I do not. Whoops! Pulling this card has been a great help in adjusting my attitude this morning. It’s easier than I thought to take things for granted. But those everyday moments are the magical ones. Those closest to us are the important ones. It isn’t the “stuff” it isn’t the state of a bank account that matters. Appreciate all that you do have today and focus on that. Focusing on lack only creates more lack. (And a crabby demeanor!) So here’s to Monday and a new week of appreciation and gratitude.
May I say that I have a most talented partner in crime? Although, today he was more my partner in beauty and gave me a hair cut. Something about cutting out the dead and damaged hair while having a very honest and to the point conversation helped alot with the clearing of my thoughts and giving me a good start to my day. The metaphor of cutting away and clearing that which has outgrown it’s usefulness did not escape me. Now while he is on to playing barber to our youngest son I decided to pull a card from my Isidore Tarot Deck .
Today I pulled the Ace of Swords. How apropos! It’s all about clearing away the deception or confusion in our lives, which leads to power and accomplishment. I think that all of us understand the energetic of the Law of Attraction. When our heads and hearts are full of confusion and chaos that’s exactly what we attract into our lives. And although we understand this, it can still be difficult to get ourselves clear and focused when we are in the midst of it all. Talking things out with a friend or partner can help put things into perspective. Once a that is attained and you begin to clear the path of clutter it will allow the flow of good things to return to you again. Doing things on the outside that parallels your intent on the inside can help with this clearing. Clean your house, donate unused items to a thrift store, cut your hair! Know that once the illusions have been cleared you will have gained great wisdom and with that you can plan your way and move confidently toward the success and accomplishment you have been aiming for.
Today I have gone through a range of emotions. When something didn’t go through the way I had hoped, I became angry. My anger relating to finances and the material world seemed to rage. And as we all know, anger is usually a symptom of fear. I spent sometime with my mother in law today who has lived a pretty dramatic life. Being with her put some things into perspective. But the work I need to do internally is constant. I’m not there yet. The first step to healing is admitting there is a problem. I’ve taken the first step, but now what? Feeling at a loss, I pulled the stone representing Obsession. It is the Egyptian hieroglyph for the God Set.
In the Isis Oracle, Set represents, dis-integration, jealously, anger, greed, addiction and materialism. He was the brother of Osiris and Isis. The God of the red desert, disorder and violence. Set was jealous of Isis and Osiris and hated them for all they had and what he lacked. This prompted him to kill Osiris in order to become king.
Today is about recognizing those aspects within ourselves. How are we handling a situation? Are we approaching life with fear? If so, we will be dealing with these strong emotions. Chaotic emotions lead to disorder and confusion, anger and sometimes violence. Recognize the Devil within yourself. Do not judge it, but look for the source. Find the source and begin to work through the release. Begin to put things in perspective. You may find that your fears are baseless. You may be carrying a fear from long ago that no longer applies to your situation today. How might you be acting in a way that is no longer relevant? In fact are you acting? or re-acting? There is a big difference. Remember what you do or say in this state of mind can never be taken back. Maybe it’s time to allow for the dis-integration. Allow it to fall apart a little so that you can rebuild using only those pieces that will move you forward, letting go of the pieces that hold you back. Set did not reign forever. Horus, the son of Isis and Osiris avenged his father’s death and took the throne. It will take sacrifice to gain the wisdom needed to reunite “Egypt” and rule peacefully over your land. Time to move from the red desert. Step back and broaden your perspective. Be aware of those who love you, who are around you and who will help you. There is a big, beautiful world out there. Enough for you, enough for all. You do not lack. Do not be afraid.
It’s been almost a year since my Mother-in-Law and I began the journey of translating recipes from a nearly century old cookbook. Every Wednesday we get together to talk about the food, the culture and her memories of growing up in Indonesia during World War II. I can go over there feeling heavy with the weight of the world and I come away with a new and good perspective on life. She has survived things I cannot imagine. She reminds me that life is full of heartache and fear but it is also filled with beauty and regrets are only chances not taken. Hers is an amazing story and I have great respect for the woman she is. I am looking forward to the compilation of recipes, stories and wisdom. It’s a project of the heart.
I’m suffering from a creative block. Perhaps “block” is not quite the right word. I have many creative thoughts and ideas, too many. I feel the pressure of how do I do this? How do I finish them all? How do I finish what I’ve already started? Where do I start? are they good enough? So not “blocked”, but the result is the same, I am overwhelmed and it is stopping the flow.
I decided to pull a card. I recognize it right away. The 8 of Coins, but in the reverse position. Well duh.
Sometimes this card denotes a lack of ambition. But that isn’t the case today. Today it’s about too much ambition, too much perfectionism, too much worry. You may find those creative juices just aren’t flowing today due to ill health, stress or unbalanced emotions. Creation can’t be forced, just like babies who are born when they are good and ready; not when you are. The creative force has a mind of it’s own and you need to be in a position that is ready to accept it in order for it to flow through you. If you are not healthy or under undue stress, it will most likely wait until another day before it will come to you. Accept that for today you will need to chose another avenue of expression. Or take that much needed nap and try again later. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself some time to breath. If you clog yourself with judgement and expectations you won’t accomplish anything but frustration. Accept where you are in this exact moment. Accept that things happen in their own time and in their own way. Step away from the project, take a walk, breathe fresh air, finish your laundry. Tomorrow is another day.
More about the Isidore Tarot Deck Here Read the rest of this entry
I had forgotten about this poster. Bethalynn made this up for me sometime ago. Strangely, I now don’t even remember why. But is serves as a good reminder. Today I’ve had some disappointments and it makes it easy for me to get distracted or get down about things. But then I get this and it helps me remember what I’m doing and why. It helps me press on regardless and do those things I need to do. I have to trust that if I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, everything else will fall into place. These are some of the concept sketches for my Goddess Oracle. I am currently working on The Goddess Bridget. I haven’t gotten too far with her painting and I need to return to Her and finish what I’ve started. Those lessons have come up for me today, number one, have faith, believe and trust. Two, if something has died, bury it. And now three: finish what you’ve started. A lot of our successes in life come from simply finishing what we’ve started. I love these goddesses and I love the system I’ve developed for the oracle. They need to come into this world. I need to finish. They’ll take it from there.
Me: Oh hey, nice of you to join me in the shower. (not really)
Beetle: *looks annoyed*
Me: So, what’s up?
Beetle: You’ve had a lot of death lately. It’s starting to rot. Hanging on to dead stuff stinks up your life. Don’t make me come and take care of it. I eat that shit you know. Better you take care of it rather than me.
Me: Yes, you’re right. Thanks.
Art: “The Tower” by Bethalynne Bajema