I didn\u2019t sleep last night. A certain little one kept me awake. And if it wasn\u2019t her, it was my thoughts. This morning, feeling hung over from lack of sleep and stressed from lack of funds, I decided I needed to do something creative. I need to petition Santa Muerte. She helps outcasts from society, the poor, the LGBT community, criminals. It is interesting to me to see so many goddesses that help the outsiders, those who cannot make problems go away or be fixed by throwing money at it. Often we are the ones who don\u2019t have a voice and we don\u2019t have a choice. What is left to us is MAGIC. I sometimes think of it as a last resort, I need to think of it as my first choice.<\/p>\n
I decided I would re sketch my Sante Muerte. I see her differently now than in my first drawing. Then I will begin painting. She has been on my mind all morning. As I\u2019m about to jump in the shower, my 2 year old daughter hands me a little slip of paper. One of the papers on which I had written out all the names of my goddesses that I\u2019ll be painting. She hands it to me and asks \u201cDoes this say I love you?\u201d I looked down and laughed. No, it said \u201cSanta Muerte.\u201d<\/p>\n
I was in the shower when I heard her. Sante Muerte. And I thought, maybe she loves me. I hoped so. I told her I was tired. She said it wasn\u2019t over yet. I started crying and said \u201cbut I\u2019m so tired!\u201d She said \u201cYou\u2019re stronger than you know.\u201d I said that I didn\u2019t want to be strong any more. I want things to be better and in my head I envisioned a beautiful home, a victorian greenhouse, all the luxuries that money can buy. She just looked at me. I said, \u201cI want that\u201d. She asked, \u201cDo you?\u201d ..I answered with a question,\u201dWill I have it?\u201d ..I heard a voice answer yes, but it wasn\u2019t hers. It was mine. Wishful thinking maybe. I asked again and she looked at me and said \u201cIt\u2019s undecided\u201d. I felt taken aback and asked, \u201cWho decides\u201d. She looked at me with no emotion, her eyes staring right into my soul and said:<\/p>\n
“You do.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I didn\u2019t sleep last night. A certain little one kept me awake. And if it wasn\u2019t her, it was my thoughts. This morning, feeling hung over from lack of sleep and stressed from lack of funds, I decided I needed to do something creative. I need to petition Santa Muerte. She helps outcasts from society, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,9],"tags":[39,44],"class_list":["post-108","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blog","category-goddess-emergence-project","tag-goddess","tag-sante-muerte"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.thewormwoodqueen.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/108","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.thewormwoodqueen.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.thewormwoodqueen.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.thewormwoodqueen.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.thewormwoodqueen.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=108"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.thewormwoodqueen.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/108\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":109,"href":"http:\/\/www.thewormwoodqueen.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/108\/revisions\/109"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.thewormwoodqueen.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=108"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.thewormwoodqueen.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=108"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.thewormwoodqueen.com\/tea\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=108"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}